Football Fever has descended upon our household; it is Grey Cup day, the final game of the Canadian football league and a much anticipated time of the year for many football fans. I am immune to this particular illness but must tip-toe around the afflicted one so he can watch with undivided attention.
It is a good sign that Michael has listened well enough to the endless television pre-game coverage to know that today was THE day. It was unavoidable, I guess, given how many hours a day the television is tuned to a sports channel. But I had hoped that he might not notice, that I could slyly divert his attention to something else like a movie or a crappy television show. No such luck.
Normally I can tune it out and immerse myself in my knitting. I have created quite a mountain of knitted works this fall - that's how much time I have on my hands - but tonight neither my brain nor my hands seem to want to work. A piece I was working on had to be ripped out repeatedly to the point that I snarled up the yarn badly enough and had to break it off, essentially ruining the piece. I threw it down in disgust and impatience, abandoning it completely. To top it off, one of my slender bamboo double-pointed needles snapped, crippling my progress. All the while, the players' atavistic chest-thumping and the crowd's rowdy cheers blaring from the television sharpened my edgy nerves. My eyes burned from the concentration on my fine stitches; I've given up.
It is rare for me to abandon a project. I hate to do it. The last time I did it was the shawl I started on our ill-fated train trip out west to see my sister and her husband, both very sick at the time - the trip that had to be abandoned suddenly for a hasty return home. It was just a few weeks ago that I picked up that piece again and reworked it into something else, closing the door on that dreadful escapade once and for all.
I am hoping that all I need to do is walk away for a while, divert my brain elsewhere. I know I'll probably be able to pick up my knitting again tomorrow, start fresh on a brand new project. But my restlessness tonight is disturbing, preventing focus. I can feel mild anxiety creeping in as the weather worsens and winter hearkens. If I fail to get this gnawing feeling under control, it will be a very long winter.